GREETING CARDS THAT NEVER GOT PRINTED

tonyline007

I always wanted to have someone to love.  And now that you've come into my life...
(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

/ `$ n6 E3 W# v; W; U( GI must admit, you brought religion into my life...
(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.
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" j% }  }  B8 J* {( o5 a+ ?1 I7 HAs the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
4 n- x( O  _2 E9 t/ L(Inside card) - …That you're not here to ruin it for me.

) w* r) z" M7 A$ Q; g3 qCongratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
/ F3 }7 P  f! ?(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?
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. o7 f9 S& q2 y5 M% r8 {# qYou are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.
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2 r0 W5 v0 U+ D( `$ \  n+ wLooking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but wonder.....
2 p" S' x& A$ q% S4 Q/ U(Inside card) - What the hell was I thinking
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Thank you for being part of my life.....
2 P7 p8 N5 z) J8 g(Inside card) - I never knew what evil was until I met you!

8 Q% F! x6 z2 r1 sCongratulations on your wedding day!
(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.  
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2 Z+ H/ d' M7 J- v' GHooray.....
(Inside card) - You're divorced.
I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened...
(Inside card) - Especially since you survived.
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3 p; G4 ~* A  S' O, b; H& _6 QCongrats on getting married...
(Inside card) - It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.
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Someday I hope to marry...
(inside card) - Someone other than you.

" l: h  l' S, p  H- RWe have been friends for a very long time...
! L9 K. w; G4 Z. T/ b* _(inside card) - What do you say we stop?
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AND MY THREE PERSONAL TOP FAVOURITES:

Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.
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8 e# u! _; a; ^# d, q! iWhen we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.
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9 `9 J8 |! w. G  \9 H/ ZLastly, for any friends in California or who have too much money:
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Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!