GREETING CARDS THAT NEVER GOT PRINTED

tonyline007

I always wanted to have someone to love.  And now that you've come into my life...
(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
; x9 d2 i. \$ `, w. _9 C(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.
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1 \$ I2 X* F; A# p0 a( y" HAs the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
(Inside card) - …That you're not here to ruin it for me.

Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.
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* h6 @# ?! f9 f8 d* sCongratulations on your new bundle of joy....
(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?

You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
+ t1 v: z9 a% [6 @0 e! ~(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

+ P# R: O( W/ HLooking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but wonder.....
+ i+ i, F/ B) V(Inside card) - What the hell was I thinking
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8 l3 }+ c- M$ F5 N$ l3 mThank you for being part of my life.....
( {; R( m' ]$ V8 m- r( r(Inside card) - I never knew what evil was until I met you!
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Congratulations on your wedding day!
2 ^3 A, x: g5 w4 v8 z: _  x1 {9 A5 N(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.  

: x" a  _2 O5 J! SHooray.....
9 d! T( x2 c: m) i7 Q6 b; t(Inside card) - You're divorced.
! r! ~5 q6 @* {3 V; t1 ]/ V+ V5 C4 dI just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened...
(Inside card) - Especially since you survived.

2 d$ h' U2 O* ?# _- S5 i0 K# TCongrats on getting married...
1 o$ |* _- v  J$ V/ ^(Inside card) - It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.

  m3 ]- F' G$ ASomeday I hope to marry...
(inside card) - Someone other than you.

We have been friends for a very long time...
(inside card) - What do you say we stop?

AND MY THREE PERSONAL TOP FAVOURITES:
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Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
5 A% v& }" [2 i, W3 h- e(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.
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1 f/ u7 F& }. V( o! ~Lastly, for any friends in California or who have too much money:
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Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
, N/ A, X7 W  K# |/ T8 S(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!
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