Subject: The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition

orth

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the
following words.

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*Divorce:
*Future tense of marriage*

) m. g, K5 ]7 Y& Q  B) x; FCigarette:
7 k/ a" u. T# {3 f+ ]9 D, \*A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire
at one end and a fool on the other. *
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2 ^# A$ ?& q1 ?, ]7 XLecture:
*An art of transferring information from the
notes of the lecturer to the notes of the
- C# e* U6 |8 `" P8 i+ @students without passing through the minds
of either.*
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Compromise:
*The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
5 ~, k2 A3 T- o- k9 W2 aeverybody believes he got the biggest piece.*
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Tears:
*The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power
* r. t0 J2 A- R' P9 Y; k/ Dis defeated by feminine water power.*
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% u: X" M0 E5 _6 z" m" c% aDictionary:
*A place where success comes before work.*
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Conference Room:
  F7 r; P1 J) K' J( x*A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on.*

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Classic:
*A book which people praise, but do not read.*

Smile:
# m+ f  y, L9 A1 E2 S*A curve that can set a lot of things straight.*

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" K8 ]4 k( T& k  q# b7 z2 iOffice:
*A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.*

" Z) f1 ^: Z* qYawn:
*The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.*


Etc:
3 x# p/ [* k% z. ~* e*A sign to make others believe that you know more than
you actually do.*

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Committee:
; c! w9 I  c% P*Individuals who can do nothing individually and
sit to decide that nothing can be done together.*

Experience:
*The name men give to their mistakes.*


Atom Bomb:
3 Y2 \- F4 R9 D3 n# j*An invention to end all inventions.*
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0 G, J* s! t3 n; xPhilosopher:
# @2 n2 v$ P5 |; n*A fool who torments himself during life, to be
spoken of when dead.*

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Diplomat:
$ f* G0 `8 o% I! Y2 k*A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip.*

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Opportunist:
' ^4 X% V5 P+ |4 o# _*A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally
* m# O4 H' c. @, f3 {3 X3 I5 ?( ~falls into a river.*

: j/ s& y, M* c4 n2 j* EOptimist:
*A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in
8 |% d" q( `- D5 e4 K% j" tmidway 'See I am not injured yet!!' *
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Miser:
* c5 \' e! a" h- X" }( I- w& ]- F: R: N*A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.*
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Father:
*A banker provided by nature.*

$ L1 K; m1 |. @
7 |; W! v& y* R9 h& ~Criminal:
2 K5 Y* b( `. X# _$ w$ k*A guy no different from the rest...except that he got
) s9 R# i* _4 R& Vcaught.*
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Politician:
# z$ m* U4 H/ J) [*One who shakes your hand before elections and your
confidence after.*
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' s9 a( L3 t* {# d( ]3 M' m$ JDoctor:
" P5 F. i% ~# M0 n9 V5 }( g*A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
2 ~: E6 Z. Q* K; X7 S; Iyou with his bills.*
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Boss:
9 w# t" Y6 [9 b4 k*Someone who is early when you are late and late
, {' H: L7 H* o# Rwhen you are early.*

samsammi

$送花$ $送花$ $送花$

Arterix

ROTFL!!!!
I love it, the English humour!
So black!

吉粒粒

:D :D $支持$ $送花$